Letters from an Envelope, Pt. 2: Larry the Security Envelope

Meet Larry, the security envelope. He means business. (But mostly finance.) He’s been around the marketing block and he’s seen a lot in his day. We interviewed him to get his take on what it’s like to be a security envelope. How does he protect client information while also drawing the right attention? We’ll let him speak for himself.

Letter Jacket Envelopes: So, Larry —

Larry the Security Envelope: Hang on. 

(Puts finger to ear. Listens intently.)

Apologies. We had a small business owner about to send a check in an untinted envelope. But the situation has been neutralized.

LJE: Oh, my.

Larry: The situation, not the suspect. She found some extra security envelopes in a desk drawer. But the question always is, what if she hadn’t? Close call. Things like that happen more often than you’d think. 

LJE: I’m glad it’s resolved.

Larry: Negative. It’s a case in point. People don’t keep the right security envelopes in stock, or they do but forget they do, and soon you’ve got envelopes every which way, some branded, some not branded. Some still with the old brand. (Shudders.

LJE: I bet it can get chaotic toward the end of the fiscal year. 

Larry: You bet. Or, when a legal issue comes up, and legal letters need to be sent quickly. You have to visually and carefully show you’re taking sensitive info seriously to win client trust. But that’s why we’re here. 

LJE: So tell me more about that job.

Larry: Gladly. Humans seem to want two things very badly: privacy and safety. There are almost 8 billion of you by now, so I guess that makes sense. Envelopes were made to get information from point A to B securely. Security envelopes take what every envelope is meant to do and brings it to the next level. We keep legal, financial, medical, and other sensitive information safe from the eyes of nosy neighbors, identity thieves, mailbox scavengers, malcontent postal workers, and the like. 

LJE: How does that work?

Larry: With cross-hatching and security tints. Makes business clients’ info safe, and looks extremely professional, making clients feel safe, too. I know your company also prints those tints in different colors to increase customization. I approve.

LJE: Thanks.

Larry: And that’s another thing–hang on a moment.

(Listens to earpiece.)

Apologies. A whole box of us got colored on by a child in Milwaukee. He thought it was scrap paper. (Sighs.) Tragic. That goes to show you the importance of branding, which is what I was about to say. People should always get the outside of their security envelopes looking as professional and distinctive as the inside. When you’re dealing with sensitive information, anything you can do to boost client confidence is money in the bank. 

LJE: Thanks so much, Larry. Anything you want to leave us with Larry?

Larry: For customized security envelopes that will do the job right (and at a great price, I might add), readers should get in touch with Letter Jacket Envelopes, pronto! And are you telling them they get free shipping on their first order?

LJE: Yes, we are.

Larry: Roger that.

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